Whenever l hear myself on videos or whatever I’m like:
Day One, Harder than it seems..
Today is day one of my lifestyle change, so far so good I guess. This whole eating every two hours is kinda hard though, especially when you have school and are super stressed out about a test (fucking math!) not to mention the fact that you don’t feel hungry…
I’m having trouble trying to figure out good meals to put together even though I just spent 150 dollars on groceries last night =(
This morning I had an egg with mushrooms and spinach it was to die for!!! I could prob eat that for the rest of my life if I wanted to. For a snack I had an apple because I was running late for class…I’m not sure if that was good enough or not though =/
For dinner I plan on having lots of veggies and grilled chicken.
Ive also been taking that Benefiber stuff for extra fiber in my diet…its been working so far its just hard to remember to take it 3 times a day on top of everything else.
Tonight I will probably take a bike ride to my friend Joel’s house then go running with him but not sure if he will be down for that or even if I will have the motivation to do so…
Wish me luck…I need it!
You have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love another..
All my life I have been the “chubby” girl. I’ve never been satisfied with how I look or feel. I always felt that I was an outcast for not being like all the other girls. I was jealous of how they could wear anything and look good in it, I’ve always had a problem with finding clothes that look good let alone fit right. Everywhere I go and anything I do I find myself looking at other girls and comparing myself to them.
This show on MTV called “I used to be fat” is my new addiction, I watch it seeing all these teens like me loose so much weight in so little time and I think to myself “wow I could totally do that” and I get all motivated and tell myself “I’m gonna change” but the next day I fall into my old habbits. I also see friends of mine from high school that used to be chubby that are now skinny and when I ask them how they did it they just say “oh I just ate right” I want to know more! Tell me what you ate, if you worked out and if you did what did you do? How could it be so easy for them?
I believe I have a food addiction…whenever I eat something salty, right after I have to have something sweet, then Ill crave something salty again…I just cant find a balance. When I’m bored I’ll eat, when I’m not hungry I’ll eat…I just can’t stop. I’ve never had a problem with getting boyfriends and keeping them, but I always find myself being so self conscious about how I look and I wonder how they could even find me attractive…
A year ago I tried a diet pill called “super slim” it was from china and boy did it work!! I lost 40lbs in 4 months and was able to eat whatever I wanted…then I couldn’t find the website I bought them from anymore and I tried another one thinking they had to be the same and they didn’t work…then I was in a relationship with someone that always ate fast food and would buy it for me because my mom didn’t buy food for the house anymore and I did not have money to buy my own food and so I gained all the weight back that I had lost..and then some. I have this new pill now called “lipofuse” and it seems to be working but I hate the feeling it gives me, almost like a burning in my esophagus like I haven’t ate all day (not sure if anyone has had this feeling before) so I would stop using it before I can even see if it works.
I can’t find motivation to work out, I wish I could afford to have a gym membership because I would go all the time. I cant work out around town (run, bike, ect) because everyone stares here! plus I have bad knees and hip…It seems like I just can’t win.
I want to be healthy, I don’t care if I’m not skinny, I just want to feel good in my own body, have more energy and smile more. I wanna feel confident. I want to love myself so I can truly love others.
